Let’s talk about something silly.

There appears to be a persistent subset of people who are convinced that the science on global warming is not conclusive, and that consequently, the sacrifices demanded by higher fuel-efficiency standards and renewable energy mandates are not proportional to the benefits.

This tickles me, because this just in: changing our nation’s energy policy isn’t about the environment.

I mean, it is a little bit. But environmental implications are only a small consideration in the energy policy picture. Without even considering global warming, we still need a better way of meeting this century’s energy needs. Don’t believe me? Come back after your next fill-up.

The big question today is whether or not America should increase domestic oil production. While I think it can be healthy to reevaluate policy positions based on the current state of affairs, the problem is that drilling for more oil is neither a quick fix nor a long-term solution. Getting at oil isn’t like rummaging through the sofa cushions for spare change; it’s building a skyscraper. Even the best case scenario has it taking a few years before American oil makes it to American consumers, with a negligible impact on price (this prediction by the DOE on the effects of opening ANWR has the price per barrel decreasing by less than $1.50 in 2027).

Ignoring global warming implications and the environmental damage that might be done by drilling for more oil, some people might still think that drilling is a good idea. I (mostly) respect that, but let’s be clear about what we’re talking about. If we started drilling yesterday, it will still cost you a hundred bucks to fill up your gas tank into the foreseeable future. In fact, my boy Robert J. Samuelson over at the Washington Post cites economist Jeffrey Rubin’s prediction that $7 gallons of gas and $225 barrels of oil are coming soon to a theater near you. This is not meant to frighten (well, Samuelson is trying to scare you into drilling, but that’s not my point at all). Rather, it illustrates the serious economic effects of our dependence on oil.

Building better cars and developing renewable energy sources, on the other hand, is quite simply sound economic policy. Once in place, they will be much less susceptible to price fluctuations. The word I remember hearing fifth most-often in my introductory econ classes (after “the,” “supply,” “and” “demand”) was EFFICIENCY. In theory, or so I was told, markets will tend toward more efficient uses of labor, raw materials, capital, and other things that go into making markets.

The chorus that industry and others have been repeating for years is that renewable technology isn’t ready, is in fact decades away, and so isn’t part of a realistic energy plan. Well, ignoring the fact that limited investment in these technologies (relative, say, to oil subsidies) hasn’t helped, we’re now faced with a situation in which carbon solutions are years away. I’m willing to hear you out if you think that we should look at pursuing multiple options to alleviate today’s high fuel prices. But don’t try to defeat renewables as part of the solution by claiming that they’re not ready. Firstly, some renewables are ready. Secondly, domestic oil and gas isn’t ready either, and saying otherwise is not just dumb, it’s deceitful.

A new energy policy isn’t so much about spending more government money, it’s about spending government money differently. The energy industry today is subsidized. There are a number of reasons for this, and I choose to ignore the conspiracy theories. (Okay, I don’t ignore them. I love a good conspiracy theory. The Illuminati faked the moon landing at Area 51!) But if we accept at face value arguments that these subsidies are intended to protect consumers and stimulate our economy, then I think that the subsidies aren’t really getting the job done these days. There’s no way of ensuring that these benefits get passed on to consumers, even in part.

So, here’s a radical proposal: let’s take the money that currently is going to oil subsidies and spend it on something else. Perhaps, and this is crazy, I know, but perhaps we could spend it on things that will help energy consumers and stimulate the economy. Like… green investment. By subsidizing fuel efficient cars and clean energy development, we can both create jobs and give individuals the power to lower their own energy bills. For example, the Union of Concerned Scientists asserts that we can reduce our fuel consumption by more oil than exists in ANWR just by implementing better mile-per-gallon standards, using technology we already have. Put that in your pipe and subsidize it. At the very least, renewable energy isn’t going to be competitive with carbon-based energy if it’s not a fair fight. And seriously, if we’re giving one side an advantage, why would we favor the technology that has the effect of causing climate problems, contributing to international instability and making exorbitant profits for a few at the expense of American consumers?

You can get back to me on that.

I have a lot to say about global warming deniers. Most of it, however, I will save for later, because something even more horrifying has come to my attention.

Global warming’s effects on New England winters are putting the maple syrup industry in serious jeopardy.

Maybe you don’t believe in global warming, but this is MAPLE SYRUP we’re talking about here. Are you really comfortable taking chances? If polar bears aren’t your cup of tea, then I hope at least the fate of the McGriddle gets your attention. This must be stopped.

Okay, so there’s probably nothing even remotely resembling real maple syrup in a McGriddle. But I think you get my point. Wait, you don’t? Alright, well here it is. Most people can’t even begin to truly understand all of the far-reaching implications of global climate change. To the nay-sayers: you’re right. We don’t know enough. But what we do know is scaring the bejeebus out of me, and I’m not the only one.

Climate change is a little like eating Play-Doh. I don’t really know if it’s bad for you, but I doubt that it’s good. I’m not going to wait for the lab results before I decide not to eat it. Even if I’m really hungry and it’s right there in front of me (smelling a little bit weird, which should be my first hint that I don’t want to be digesting it).

Oh wait; you’ve never had the desire to eat Play-Doh? (What kind of a childhood did you have? What kind of a childhood did I have?) Well, I’ve never had the desire to build a coal plant. So there.

All of this brings us to the Senate’s debate over what to do about energy policy. I use the phrase ‘debate about energy policy’ loosely, because it’s actually a debate about whether or not to have a debate. The law cracks me up. This ‘debate’ reminds me of the old cliché about how laws are like sausages (you don’t want to see how they’re made). The issue du jour is a tax bill that will, among other things, extend tax incentives for renewable energy.

There will be another cloture vote tonight. It will likely involve more posturing and more grandstanding. At stake is billions of dollars and somewhere around 116,000 jobs. Even if you don’t take the specter of global warming seriously, shouldn’t the economic livelihood of over one hundred thousand Americans lead to a sense of urgency?

What will happen is anyone’s guess. The conventional wisdom is that you don’t want to watch the political process. But then again, maybe if more people knew how our laws were made, we wouldn’t have to worry that there was Play-Doh in our sausages.

Just some food for thought.