As my internship comes to an end, I want to give y’all something extra special. Which I’ve succeeded at brilliantly, if I don’t say so myself.
So without further ado, I give you my favorite ‘alternative’ energy solutions.
- Coffee: If people can run on caffeine, why can’t the world?
- Hamsters: Just imagine – millions of hamster wheels powering New York City. Keep your pants on PETA – it’s not forced labor or animal cruelty. They love it! It’s the ultimate harnessing of the forces of nature. And they’re so cute!
- People: Do you ever need that extra motivational kick to get yourself to the gym? Imagine if you could hook a bike up to a power generator and literally get paid for every calorie that you burn. That would be sweet.
- Heart: What exactly does this mean? It’s unclear. But on Captain Planet, it was one of five elements, and we’ve more or less done something energy-related with Earth, Wind, Water and Fire. So Heart needs to step it up and pull its weight. It has the added benefit of “taking pollution down to zero.” It’s right there is the theme song, so you know it’s true.
- Lasers: What can’t lasers do?
- Sex Panther: If you’ve seen Anchorman, you know that 60% of the time, it works every time. Which would actually make it way more efficient than coal.
- Beer and Banana Peels: Back to the Future! Unfortunately, this fuel only works in DeLoreans. The good news is that it’s emissions free.
- Hope: Okay, so it’s not that original. Everyone who makes a joke about Barack Obama talks about his hope-powered change-mobile, or some variation on that. But still…
Oh and if that doesn’t work, I would settle for powering the world on audacity.
So to all you engineers out there: I’m looking at you. This is the ultimate American Dream. Make it happen.
